The verbification of America

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Susan Perloff

Can you beer me now?
The verbification of America is a potentially endless trend.

The TSA screener at the airport asks, “May I random you?”

Too hastily, I say: “Not if it’s a verb. But you may choose me at random and scan my body.”

While we all face the need to create new words sometimes, in many cases we should increase our vocabulary and rely on words that already exist. Here are some I have noticed of late.

Verbification Ridiculous usage Traditional words
to administrate We will hire someone to administrate the project. We will hire a new administrator.
to architect The firm architected the bridge. The firm designed the bridge.
to calendar Let’s calendar a time to meet. Can we talk Thursday at 10?
to candidate Our church is looking for a new pastor. The man from Cleveland is candidating this weekend. The man from Cleveland will lead church services this weekend.
to collocate Your company and mine will collocate. We’ll buy adjacent properties.
to comp The hotel will comp you for one night if you write about them. The hotel will offer you one free night if you write about them.
to consent When the admissions office consents the patient, it requires signatures on 4 forms. When the admissions office asks the patient to sign consent forms, it requires 4 signatures.
to conversate The executives met to conversate about the merger. The executives met to discuss the merger.
to expense Don’t worry about today’s lunch. I’ll expense it. I’ll list it on my expense account.
to incent to incentivize We must incent the sales force to work harder. We must inspire/ entice/motivate the sales force.
to liaise Let’s get your people to liaise with my people. Let’s get our people to form a liaison.
to offshore They offshored their labeling operation. They sent their labeling operation overseas.
to outdate Only 2 percent of blood outdates before it can be used. Only 2 percent of blood becomes outdated before it is used.
to source The grocery store has to find new ways to source its produce. The store is looking for local sources.
to task The new orchestra director is tasked with building young audiences. The director must help develop young audiences.

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Writing your own website copy

Posted on April 19, 2012 by Susan Perloff

Route 66 or Route 122
Q. I’m going to write my own website copy. What writing advice do you have?

A. Good luck. This is a big job you’re taking on. Mind you, I am advising you on writing only, not on marketing or SEO or building sites that work for smartphones. As with any writing project, you need to prepare before you start. Here are some important steps in
pre-writing:

Know where you’re going. Whether you’re driving to West Philadelphia, western Pennsylvania or the West Coast, you need to have a plan first.

  • Create a list or diagram of every piece of information you want site visitors to read.
  • Decide which bits of information that relate to each other.
  • After you write down everything you can think of, think again: What would a stranger want to know about your business? A frequent visitor?
  • Organize that material into an outline with up to 7 major categories.
  • Take out your quill pen.

Q. Where should I start?

A. Start where it’s easiest to start, so you can accomplish one piece with relative ease. You will thus take the sting out of your fears. (You say you’re too busy to write it. I call it “writer’s block.”) If the easiest segment is explaining your patient’s recovery from a facelift, start there. If it would be quick to explain why your chocolates taste better than all others, start there. If you have already written your business’ history, start there and update it. Then:

  • Aim for 250 words per subject, per computer screen. This amount fits comfortably on most people’s monitors.
  • Focus on one item. If you run long, make a new page.
  • Write clearly and concisely. That’s the hardest part.
    • Use active verbs in almost every sentence. If you need coaching on this, set the grammar checker in Word to flag your passive sentences.
    • When telling a customer whsere to go (on your site, I mean), use imperative, or command verbs. When possible, start each such sentence with the verb. (For example, note the verbs in every bulleted line in this post – except for this one.)
    • Remove, throw out and discard every unnecessary word, such as. Examples: Very. Extremely. It has long been known that.
Don’t write When you can write
consensus of opinion consensus
more and more more
the color purple purple
the month of May May
triangular in shape triangular
  •  If necessary, call in a professional editor.

Please send me a link when your site goes live.

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Never write in ALL CAPS

Posted on April 16, 2012 by Susan Perloff

This is a federal office. All of these rules apply.
NEVER WRITE IN ALL CAPS. All caps are difficult to read and smack of “fine print.” Many readers skip all-capitalized text.

For years I taught 10-week writing seminars at a Philadelphia university. Every semester the noncredit office mailed a standard packet of information to incoming students. Every semester I requested that they add a note that students bring a 500-word essay to the first class, double-spaced, 12-point Times New Roman.

Every semester the office printed that info in ALL CAPS. Every semester a third of the students complied. The others swore they never saw that message. I believed them but could never convince the noncredit office to type my material in caps and lower case.

DO NOT WRITE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. ALL CAPS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO READ AND ARE CONSIDERED THE E-MAIL EQUAVILENT OF SHOUTING. SPELL-CHECK DOES NOT CHECK WORDS IN ALL CAPS. PLUS, ALL CAPS TAKE UP WAY TOO MUCH SPACE.

I found the previous paragraph in a client file. Guess what. Spell-check didn’t catch my typo. Did you? In “the e-mail equavilent of shouting,” I typed the word wrong.

Here are 3 examples of ALL-CAP text,
followed by their “sentence case” equivalents.

Example 1
ALTHOUGH ALL INFORMATION AND MATERIALS CARRIED ON THIS WEBSITE IS BELIEVED TO BE RELIABLE, AP MAKES NO REPRESENTATION, NEITHER EXPRESSLY NOR IMPLIEDLY, AS TO THE ACCURACY, COMPLETENESS, TIMELINESS OR RELIABILITY OF THE MATERIALS OR ANY INFORMATION ON THIS WEBSITE.

Although all information and materials carried on this website is believed to be reliable, AP makes no representation, neither expressly nor impliedly, as to the accuracy, completeness, timeliness or reliability of the materials or any information on this website.

The sentence above ranks at the 21.5 Flesch-Kincaid reading level, which means that the only people who can read it comfortably have completed the first half of their senior year of college. It also uses the word impliedly, which is esoteric at best, thus raising the reading level.

Example 2
A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM DEVELOPING OFF THE CAROLINA COAST WILL INTENSIFY AND MOVE NORTHWARD TO NEAR LONG ISLAND BY TONIGHT. IT IS THEN EXPECTED TO MOVE WESTWARD AND LINGER OVER THE REGION THROUGH FRIDAY.

A low pressure system developing off the Carolina coast will intensify and move northward to near long island by tonight. It is then expected to move westward and linger over the region through Friday.

Which version is easier to read?

Example 3
This is the boilerplate copy at the end of a client’s e-mail messages. These warnings always tickle me, because they blame me for potentially misusing something they never should have sent me. Nonetheless, here it is in all caps.

THIS E-MAIL AND ANY ATTACHMENTS MAY CONTAIN CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION THAT IS LEGALLY PRIVILEGED. IF YOU RECEIVED THIS E-MAIL IN ERROR OR ARE NOT THE INTENDED RECIPIENT, YOU SHOULD DELETE AND DESTROY THE E-MAIL AND ANY ATTACHMENTS OR COPIES; YOU ARE PROHIBITED FROM RETAINING, DISTRIBUTING, DISCLOSING OR USING ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THE E-MAIL.

This e-mail and any attachments may contain confidential information that is legally privileged. If you received this e-mail in error or are not the intended recipient, you should delete and destroy the e-mail and any attachments or copies; you are prohibited from retaining, distributing, disclosing or using any information contained in the e-mail.

Never write a sentence, header or disclaimer in all caps.

All caps are hard to read. Some readers skip sections that are written in all caps. In e-mail, using all caps is perceived as shouting.

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StoryToolz.com, a new writing tool

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Susan Perloff

threading a button in Manhattan
Found StoryToolz.com, a new writing tool for writers. I tested its free version, and I rate it a perfect 10.

I started with an old blog post. In Microsoft Word, my draft garnered 5.6 on the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level, which means that kids in fifth grade can read it comfortably. I pasted the post into StoryToolz, which allows “more than 2K of text.” (I guess that means 2,000 words.)

StoryToolz rated the same piece at Grade 4.1 – which sounds like a step forward, although the same article cannot have 2 different ratings. The blog scored 80.6 percent for Flesch Reading Ease and Grade 6.4 for the Gunning fog index. I ignored the measurements that seemed alien or unspellable. Still, overall, the free online product knocked me out.

The software, which appeared in 2008, produced these snippets:

  • Average number of characters in each word: 4.54. Shorter words keep people reading longer. Aim for an average of 5 or fewer.
  • Average syllables per word: 1.39. Words of 3 or more syllables make reading more difficult for all readers. Shoot for an average of 2 or 1, even to highly educated audiences.
  • Average words in each sentence: 8.3. Try to tighten your sentences to 14 words, max.
  • Percentage of “short” sentences, with “3 words or less”*: 10. Rather than drowning readers in long sentences, trim them (the sentences, not the readers) to 20 words or fewer.
  • Percentage of “long” sentences, with 18 words or more: 5. Varied sentence length adds rhythm, interest and power to your prose.
  • Number of passive verbs: 0. Try to edit out every passive verb your spell-checker catches.

* That should say: “3 words or fewer.” See “Less isn’t more.”

On a personal note: In the 25 years that I have been teaching adults in the Philadelphia area to write nonfiction, I have substantially improved my own writing. That’s because, when I’m training people to write in the active voice, I had darn well better be doing the same thing. Now I check the grammar stats of everything I put out.

I believe that, in the last few years, I have gained skills in writing short, which coincidentally or not, is what the reading world demands today. Whether people are too busy, too bored or too dim, they want brief, to-the-point copy – short paragraphs, short sentences, simple words. So uploading text into an online site and getting an actual gauge is way cool.

Please post a comment here if StoryToolz.com teaches you something about improving your writing style.

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Let’s hose a workshop

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Susan Perloff

ttypo
I love this typo, which I found on a flyer at the gym.

First, you need to know that we are celebrating World Doula Week. Assuming you can define world and week, I will tell you that a doula is a woman who helps women handle the final stages of pregnancy, delivery itself and the beginning of baby management.

A doula is “an experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support,” things we used to do alone without conversation, certainly without paying stiff fees. The word, derived from ancient Greek, means “a woman who serves.”

Anyway, a Philadelphia doula service — here’s the typo — “will be hosing an informal gathering and information workshop.” That’s hosing, not the intended hosting. Made me laugh out loud, even though I no longer need maternity clothes.

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